Sleepy......

Oh man it's been a while!

I'm sorry to say that I haven't really been up to much besides my usual. My parents are kinda driving me up the wall figuring out the visa stuff, and though I feel not much else is going on I feel my mind under constant stress because of anxiety.

It's gotten so bad, it's hard to imagine what it would be like to NOT be anxious about something. I was doing a lot better when we moved into the new place but as time passes it's just seeping in more and more and I'm not entirely sure what to do about it.

I did find an ad for meditation courses nearby. I shot the idea out to Chris and he is actually all about trying. So here I am, doing some googling to find out more.

I've fallen back on some things because I've just, felt absorbed. Hahaha. that makes no sense. but I do urgently need to email my Lady V and Janyce and send some responses on myspace. I'm sorry to my friends, I'm not neglecting you at all, just going through a low dip and back up I'll be.

I've ordered a couple dresses on ebay. This is a big deal for me. I haven't worn a dress in YEARS. I've always hated dressing up. But I;ve gotten so bored with just pants and t shirts, and tired of feeling like a man with a huge rack. So I bit the bullet. I have no fantastic expectations that I'll be thrilled with my purchases. After all, they'll require exposure of my legs, which haven't seen the light of day since sunday school. But little by little.

I was reflecting on something....about how hard it is to be spiritual in these modern times. it is. SO hard. When everything you read and hear tries to point you in other directions, and make you feel ridiculous for trying desperately hard to hold onto your beliefs, however tenuous the connection. What's wrong with spirituality complimenting science, and vice versa? Isn't that what balance is all about?